Shattered hearts and New beginnings
by hogwartssterlingscholar
Summary: The Berry's have a secret, broken hearts, empty souls. A torn apart marriage a sister Rachel never knew and a bond between a a father and his daughters maybe Puckleberry the summer of season two.
1. Chapter 1

_**Leroy**_

Leroy berry had a secret, a secret that could either start world war three or damage the world as we know it .knowing full well that Rachel's' dramatic flair came from genetics alone he chose to wisely calm done and look at this from a responsible adults point if view. If he was being completely honest with himself he would admit that even though he was happily married to the man of his dreams he still had doubts even after Rachel was born. It was that doubt of is this right not in a homophobic sense but in a 'am I ready to start a family with my high school life partner' type doubt.

Its not that he didn't love Rachel and Hiram, no that wasn't it. It was to what he thought that regretful dream of what could have been. It was two years after my princess Rachel was born , two years that my best friend, my childhood friend the one person who understood me more than Hiram the one person who didn't judge me when at twenty-five crawled into bed with her to cry about life, walked away. He was worried about how mature Rachel was developing as her "biological "father he thought that this increase in child development was his fault. Shit, he thought Rachel's first award at eighteen months. He stumbled into the loosely goosey – a bar that had been around since his parents childhood.

Possibly the most wasted he had ever been –that's saying a lot because "Lerry berry" was a common joke around Harvard frat parties a legacy he still spoke upon with pride- is when in all of his drunken stupor he saw her. Zaria versalles. Instead of crying out and rushing towards her he watched from a distance ordering more drinks than he could process, anger rising for her not only not noticing him but for the resentment of their fallout. Thinking back he didn't know if it was the not knowing doubt or the alcohol that hade him jerking up and pulling her towards him crashing a forceful yet unresisting kiss upon her lips. Maybe she did notice him he thought wirily the only thing he could remember from that night was a fierce need and hands, hands everywhere touching feeling, grabbing, and clawing. He was busted back into reality by twenty frantic voice messages from Hiram. He sprinted away from that hotel room like the Tasmanian devil which was ironic because Zaria was in love with Looney tunes. He shook his head it didn't matter what she liked or didn't anymore because she was dead and left with fifteen year old daughter.

_**Hiram**_

As a lawyer Hiram prided himself at not only being extremely observant but being able to tell when a person is keeping the truth from him. Being one of the most highest rated lawyers in the state of Ohio and Oregon he could easily tell Leroy his other half was hiding something from him, something big but no matter how much it hurt that his other half was lying to him he let him have his private moment. Even though he was a successful lawyer he had his lapse in confidence just like everyone else. Maybe he was destroying his family from being away too much lord only knows what it does to Rachel let alone Leroy. But no Rachel and Leroy both have very assertive mannerisms and if it was a problem it would have been weeded out a long time ago. No it was something bigger than his petty insecurities something life changing something that could either strengthen his marriage and family or destroy it.

_Fuck_ he sometimes wished that he wasn't a bit physic. He just wished that whatever it was would turn out soon he already had to worry about his Rachel whatever the secret is he hoped for his baby girl.

_**Rachel**_

As a berry we tend to have a _bit _of ego problem, it's not my fault that I know I am better than everyone else really it isn't I just know even as a junior(well before that too) what I want in life and am very confident on how I'm going to get there. But besides the ego issue my family is very keen to whatever is going around them I knew my parents were in a lovers quarrel and I knew like always we would get passed it and conquer what ever it was. But lately as the summer started to dwindle and classes start back up a few weeks I looked past my own problems (mainly Finn and Quinn) saw what was in front of me. This was more than a silly little spat this was bigger my excuse the reference spidey senses were tingling something or more likely someone was going to be an obstacle once again. I hope for whoever sake it is they watch themselves because if there is one thing this insignificant town knows is that Rachel Barbra berry is a warrior. I smiled and started to hum to '_Another day_.'

_**Zaria **_**(less than two months before death)**

There are many things I regret in my life, so many paths so many choices _too_ many choices however the one I should have regretted I don't, I look out to the back yard and see my angel weeding the garden, a favorite pastime of ours since she was three. But in those years she has grown and thrived into this miraculous creature. I'm sad to think I only have what the doctors say about five months left. She knows and I know that deep down it is less than that. It is those moments where I see a woman in the place of my baby girl, my baby girl who I will leave in a short time. We have both long since lost are ability to cry, to comfort, to heal only to embrace the moment.

It is a mistake that I made when raising her that she should always expect worse but come out unscathed. I will never say that I was a perfect mother or a horrible one, I raised her to the best of my ability and so far no complaints have come my way. Well no complaints of my parenting, we both shoved the thought of our last summer together to the backs of our minds. Just carrying it out the way it would have been, how it should be. I hope that she'll forgive me for sending her half way across the country, but I feel as though she needs this to know, to stop wondering ,to stop both of our what if moments. With a sigh I turn away from the window and sign my last meaningful thing

_June 25, 2011_ I signed my will and my resignation. Cancer is truly a cancerous thing, I chuckle and wheel my chair outside breathing in my daughters smile I'm safe, I'm home and while it last I'm alive.

_**Zarra (by her mother's death bed)**_

I feel like I should cry, but my eyes are barren my heart is empty, my life shattered. So instead I scream, I shout! I rip I tear, I break. _August 15, 2011_ is my mothers death day, my death day, my best friend has left me, my one true confidant has been torn away from me sixteen years of love, hate, crying, cheering, laughing, raging has closed it eyes and breathed it last breath. Can you hate cancer is it a physical being? Can you touched and hit it? Can you beg and plead for it to go away? Can ask for what it back? The answer no, hell no. I've learned that the hard way so instead of listening to my pleas cancer went out a grabbed my mother leaving a confused teenager in its path.

I wish I could stay, Nevada has been my home for as long as I could remember my failures my successes, my victories my losses were here my mistakes my choices my life. I will give my mother one thing though she always _knew_ me she knew that I would have to leave whether that be to my friends yusbi's or to some small ass town in Ohio, even in death she knows what I need.

And there I sit staring at the ceiling of my mother's room clutching her pillows hoping and trying to retain something of her.

When we first found out my mother had cancer she didn't want me to go into foster care or any of that jazz so I was legally emancipated in April, legally I was set my mother may have been ill but she was _smart. _She had set up various trust funds for me where it came from I suspected grandpa and grandma. The house was already rented out for any money transferred into my bank account any other Transactions would be handled by my family attorney etcetera, etcetera I could careless about any money all I wanted was my mother ,my mommy .

Distantly I could hear a faint whimpering; it was really annoying until I realized it was coming from me, it scared me so I started sing our song for whenever she or I were down:" You tucked me in, turned out the light Kept me safe and sound at night Little girls depend on things like that  
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair Had to drive me everywhere You were always there when I looked back  
You had to do it all alone Make a living, make a home Must have been as hard as it could be  
And when I couldn't sleep at night Scared things wouldn't turn out right You would hold my hand and sing to me  
Caterpillar in the tree How you wonder who you'll be Can't go far but you can always dream  
Wish you may and wish you might Don't you worry, hold on tight promise you there will come a day Butterfly fly away  
Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away Flap your wings now you can't stay Take those dreams and make them all come true  
Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away We've been waiting for this _day_

All along and knowing just what to do Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away Butterfly fly away"  
I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

_**Hiram**_

It has been three weeks since we so much as said more than a customary sentence to each other, I was on my breaking point, I love my husband but there was only so much I could take. We were in our room as I was contemplating this reruns of '_SVU' _played in the background, Leroy sat on the edge of our bed still in his work clothes in deep thought obviously needing to say something but as always trying to sugar coat whatever he was saying as if I wasn't strong enough to handle what he was going to say… I am strong enough, I think.

"Leroy, do you need to say anything?" he looked up startled "I-I" sigh "I made a mistake a couple years ago" he started but I interrupted "that's all a mistake?" haha "I thought it was something com-"I stopped because he was giving me this pleading look, a look I only ever saw when he was lost or hopeless I shut up and gestured for him to continue reaching for his hand. He grabbed it gratefully clutching it like a life line. He opened his mouth then closed it seeming to be at loss for words, I was starting to panic was his mistake us? I wanted to shake it out of him, to yell at him for hiding anything "remember a couple of years ago when I went out and was gone all night?" I was about to shake my head no but thought back to Rachel's first fever and remember my scare. "Yes, I do"

"I saw Zaria there," my mood instantly dropped "i-I was very drunk and one thing lead to another, I – she, we have a child together and she is coming to Ohio" I sat frozen, he- he fucking cheated on me he lied and broke our vows. My trust came crumbling down, a kid a child he physically had a child with my personal devil. He carried on oblivious to my turmoil "and well she died a couple days ago and she won't be living here its just she might be curious you know? Baby?" he cupped my cheek "I am so sorry" tears were sliding down his face "I'm sorry too" I moved away and reached over for my car keys "I'm living a conference in L.A. I'll be gone for a couple weeks tell Rachel will you?" I walked into the closet shaking off his arm grabbed my suitcase and ran down those stairs out the door and away from this horrible nightmare ignoring Leroy's calls for me to come back- thank god Rachel was Mercedes.

_**Leroy**_

I screamed until my voice ran hoarse, sliding to the ground ignoring Mrs. Cabpersons' noisy concern hanging my head in my hands. What have I done?

_**Rachel**_

A sharp pain hit my head; I groaned into Mercedes pillow something was wrong so very wrong.

_**Zarra**_

I woke up around six- seven a.m. I was leaving tonight moving into one of my grandparent's apartments I asked it to be non furnished I was taking everything with me no matter the cost. I had most of everything packed except for the living room with the help of yusbi and my friend mark we got everything done by three.

"Zarra-barra?" I smiled into my arm, we were laying out in the garden for the last time "yeah snarky – marky?" he snorted at the name I could remember when I first gave it to him, he was being a jerk and broke my favorite doll and I went to go tell on him his mother told me he was a snarky little beezy and the name stuck "I'm going to miss you so much" he choked up he loved my mother just as much as I did

" hey!" yusbi shouted giving off faux anger " none of that crying shit, not now, not today not ever!" she then proceeded to dog pile us our shouts of mercy went un heard, leave it to this crazy monkey to cheer me up. "Haha yus, your really heavy "she shrugged unconcerned adjusted more to get comfortable elbowing marks nose in the process "it's the munchies" she sighed" all that weed isn't good for me" we laughed yusbi was what you would consider a weed baby born, live and repeat kind of girl I would miss her so much who else will tell me I had the voice of the angels and the body of a siren… I learned long ago to just accept her crude and semi- sexual harassment comment sand actions it was who she was (_**A/N: my friend jess is just like that you just have to accept it like a pop quiz or grape flavored medicine) **_and mark, well mark was the typical closet case gay who looked more like a football player than a vogue obsessed fashionista ,these people were the last of my ties to hopefully move on I had to cut them no matter how much it hurt we all understood that. A beep from my phone told me I had to get to the airport or I was going to miss my flight. Standing up and pulling along the other two screaming "group hug!" at the top of my lungs. My heart what little of it that there was swelled up with warmth I tightened my hold and put marks musty orange smell to memory and yusbi's peppermint scent. I squeezed tight once more and pulled away giving each of them a smile I turned away and ran back into the house grabbed my suitcase and pushed it into my car waving stupidly as I drove away. _This was it. _ I turned on the radio embracing the voice of Alicia keys a brand new me…


	2. Chapter 2

_**Zarra  
**_I learned to love plane rides, to be honest I love that drop feeling in the pit of my stomach. But then again I started to hate them, like right now. When I was little and we had to fly somewhere we couldn't drive, my mother would play this game called 'my little pony.' Right when we were taking off she would disregard all the rules and unbuckle our seat belts and slide me unto her lap, once the plane started tilting upwards she would jiggle her legs singing "my little pony go to town my little pony…" and she would pause and in that tiny segment of time I would feel the drop and she would straighten out her legs "Don't fall down!" she would screech ignoring the disproval of the flight attendants and mutterings from tsking others.

Considering it was a seven hour flight I had a lot of spare time. But, between keeping a Samuel l Jackson look- alike -off my shoulder and preventing a Betty white impersonator from choking on her peanuts, the rest of the time I was eating, sleeping or desperately trying to get through a Rocky movie without screaming in frustration. Slapping myself repeatedly for not charging my iPod, I slide doctor t-drizzle off my shoulder and puffed up my mothers self-knit pillow drowsing off to her flowery scent, it was going to be a long ass flight.

_**Leroy**_

It was about two in the morning before I realized I was still outside, somehow I didn't care about getting sick or causing a scene all I wanted was my Hiram back. I should have never said anything, even if Zaria's no my daughter did show up no one had to know it could have been completely disregarded. Deep down I knew I was acting like a lovesick teenager instead of a grown man but the surface part of me didn't give a rat's fart in space on how I was acting, a part of me was gone and I didn't know for lord knows how long.

Slamming my hands down I screamed in frustration and pain, I sliced my hand open on a piece of jagged rock for some unknown reason the thing reminded me of Zaria. Anger like never before coursed through my veins, before I knew it the rock was in my hands, than twenty feet away hitting a parked car. The alarm was the only sound that could penetrate through my red fazed eyes. Instead of acting my age and going over there to make sure I didn't leave any damage I spun around ran into the house never looking back. If I didn't I would have noticed my heart never left, I would have taken my second chance, but at two a.m. I couldn't tell the difference between a rock or a person.

_**Hiram**_

Seething, breaking I sat in my car keys in the engine and face first on the dash. I wanted to go back there and tell him it would be alright I wanted to reach out to him on the ground and mend our lives back together forget his ugly mistake for that is what it was; a mistake that we could have lived without. A mistake that that greasy cunt faced Zaria made happen. She messed up my life before and hell she was still doing while she was six feet under. Leroy should have known not to have left me alone, like a certain brown eyed princess when left to boil ,we steam together a plot and soon my calm logical side to effect, if it was the last thing I do we wont have to deal with anymore mistakes but for now I'll wait.

_Beep! Beep! Beeeeep!_ My car alarm woke me up blaring in a frequency that probably destroyed my ear drums. Groaning I hit the red button one my dash to shut it up. Once my head fog cleared up I saw Leroy sprinting into the house like the devil himself was chasing him. It hurt that it was obviously him that threw the rock, but I know that if we want to make things better and burn down any bridges I'll have to forgive him. After all he'll need someone to lean on when his son and or daughter leaves him in the dust. I mean what kind of husband would I be if I didn't help my significant others mistakes?

_**Mercedes**_

There was something seriously wrong with my home girl Rach usually when we had sleepovers the girl didn't shut up until two or three, now she was curled up in a small ball-not that I'd ever admit this- cuteness but she looked oddly depressed her usual dream smile was missing and replaced with a grimace. She was tossing and turnin all night long. She was Muttering about her dads, and some shit about something being wrong or something. Gurl, Look I know that Kurt and I decided to be friends with her but sometimes god she was handful; ugh lordy I need me some tater tots.

_**Puck-Zillah**_

Ever have those moments when someone you care about-no matter how much you deny it- is hurting or worse having a bitch fit? Well that's my life, when your friends with a midget_ cough cough_ Rachel Barbra berry, bitch fits are a guarantee, I mean shit I was about to get down with Mrs. Freichs who had been giving me the glazy eyes if ya know what I mean. So to end her obvious frustration and being the gentleman I am-or try to be-I took it into my hands, but than goddamn it my hot Jew princess senses kicked in and when ever you need to lose the morning wood just think of Rachel sad, mad or spouting ridiculously long words and your night is ruined. _Ruined _I tell you. Grunting I rolled out of Charlene's house and hopped into my truck my hands automatically dialing rach's number

_**Rachel**_

I woke up to _'Stacey's mom'_ bursting out of my beautiful pink I phone and just new that Noah felt something was wrong, besides that horrible ring tone he picked out, I told him that we have a bond that will withstand time and distance but no he just chucked a grotesque looking oil drench French fry at me and turned up the football game damn 49er's. Just because we are friends doesn't make him any less of a heathen though.

"Hello Noah what may I ask are you doing calling me at five in the morning not that I mind of course-"

"Yeah, yeah berry that's great okay stop being so damn cheery and tell me what's wrong me and Charlene were bouts to get our grove on." He demanded, I tried to suppress the relief I felt for being responsible for breaking off his rendezvous,

"Well..." I drawled off enjoying his impatient growl "to be frank with you Noah"

"Frank! Who the hell is that berry!" ignoring this I moved on did all men have weird possessive issues sheesh and they say women are bad, my ass, I thought. "But I have absolutely no clue what is wrong." I sung teasingly, "I mean wow Noah you need to _relax_, need to get laid much?" I sweetly questioned…

Silence was the only thing I heard wait for it…. Wait for it…. And BAM! He opened up his mouth and started cursing up a storm that would make the terrifying cheer coach Sue Sylvester blush… and _that_ was saying something that women had more insults up her sleeve than Mr. Shue had sweater vests. "Noah," I tried to speak but the damn nethanderthal was still rambling I could barely catch the words strangle, wood, and frank. "Ugh Noah!" still going wincing at my own shrill voice, I see what Kurt means "NOAAAAH!"

"What! Damn it Shorty MCshort short can I ever just talk! Shit you have me get up at the crack of dawn-" rolling my eyes "I didn't make you do anything Noah! And its five O'clock" he went on Continuing on like he didn't hear me ass.

"I was so ready dude and mike was telling me about-"

"NOAH ALEXANDER PUCKERMAN! CEASE YOUR TALKING! And don't you dare ever call me _dude _again or so help god I will mince your disco stick and bake into hash!" I hated when I was forced to raise my voice so much damage could be done to my vocal cords and why the hell would he call _me_ dude?! Do I look like a dude? Do I even remotely act like one? Do I sweat and uphold a grungy hipster look? Um no I don't,_ Ugh_ shivering in disgust I continued our idiotic and slightly unnecessary conversation even if his voice made me feel better.

"Noah I'm hanging up, come to my house later this afternoon okay? " "No!" he mumbled out like a five year old I could just imagine him crossing his arms, his face set in a pathetically cute pout. "I'll make cookies." bribery was a valued weapon amongst puckerman plus no one could resist my cooking, It took a couple minutes I could hear him debating in his 'soft voice' yeah okay he was still shouting and muttering "Yeah whatever B." he finally replied after god, five minutes?!

"Good now you woke up Kurt and Mercedes with your loud voice, wait- did you just snort! Don't snort at me!" "Goodbye berry." Why oh why was I actually _friends _with this a-hole? "Don't you hang up on me Noah Puckerman!" a dial tone sounded leaving me with two wide awake gossipy immature divas snickering , great and I call these cretins friends as well.

Picking up a pillow and throwing it with all my might (which was a lot, I tell you!) muttering "oh shut up" I flipped back over on the bed enjoying Kurt's girly squeal.

_**Emma**_

I was almost done sanitizing the inside of my trash can when I got a knock at the door. To say I was surprised would be an understatement the only visitors I got were Will ,_dreamy sigh_ and the mailman but after I made him personally air suction my mail he didn't show up anymore for some odd reason.

_1, 2, 3-1, 2, 3_ I learned over the years that if I keep up a rigorous routine with my spontaneous anxiety its helps a lot huffing out a burst of air I cleared my throat and prepared to fight to the death if necessary. "Hello?" I called out, wondering if the bleach container in my hand was a suitable replacement for pepper spray and if the figure behind the door could hear the slight tremor running through my voice.

"Hello Miss Pilsbury? I'm Carl versalles I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"Carl! Ooh I liked him he was just the friendliest old man you could ever meet although his wife could use some happy pills in her diet if you catch my drift, plus he loved grapes just as much as I did what not to absolutely love about him.

"A favor?" I muttered out loud what could he possibly want from _me_? Unlocking the deadbolt I cracked the door open just to see if it was really him, fortunately for him it was "I would love to do you any favors, depending what it is Carl." Picking a stray string off my banana yellow cashmere sweater I tried to appear nonchalant it obviously didn't work by the look on his face... or maybe that was from the chemicals permeating the room. "Come on in, oh watch your feet."I warned I'm forgetting that I was alphabetizing my movie collection, Guiding him over to the table which was thankfully cleared of any… _dirty things_ I offered him refreshment noticing his slight eye twitch many years of counseling others and myself I concluded that he was either lying about not wanting an herbal spice shake or he had eye cancer. I'm sure I have a pamphlet about that somewhere around here hmm.

"Emma, I have-"he paused seeming to shake out any unwanted words passing through his mind.

"I mean my granddaughter is coming down here and will be in the apartment across from you and I was wondering if" I decided to interrupt his little brain fart besides it was my favor I was giving got to make sure I understand right.

"If I could help your granddaughter settle in and make her feel more welcome." I presumption ally rationed off

"Um no actually" Oh_, _well not like I haven't been wrong before I mean look at Terry's and Will's marriage I _was_ sure that it wouldn't last after high school.

"You see she's starting at McKinley in about a week or so, so I was wondering since you're the counselor that you could show her the ropes and whatnot." Swallowing I hid my resentment of not having a women or man for that matter around here my age, but I knew that people my age were still either stuck in a high school fantasy or running a family which I have done neither of so. "I would love to Carl."I muttered in resignation no fun same aged people for me no soiree bob. He sighed in relief spouting out thanks you's and pleasantries… and the he _tried_(key word) to shake my hand which I so cleverly diverged (in my opinion) by dropping my flower vase which shattered in every known direction. "Oh um, I'll just see myself out Emma good day and thank you again" it amused me greatly that not only did he not offer to help with the cleanup but zoomed out of my apartment like the hellhounds were after him .When the door slammed I went to work and got out my sanitizer machine and started to tweezer pick out the glass. Hopefully his granddaughter won't bring anymore trouble to McKinley as it is I don't think I could handle anymore pregnancies, false weddings or gleek crisis's but I owed it to will (_sigh_) and my students hm yeah my students.

_**Zarra**_

What I found unbelievable was that no matter how much I seemed to except the idea my father was indeed gay, but that he also had a seventeen year old daughter. One thing was for sure. I thought as I pulled up to the Sea Way Apartments. Life was bound to be pretty interesting.

A/N: Hey guys short I know sorry I haven't been updating lately, I just traveled to state with a monologue piece and have been rehearsing like crazy. Please forgive me:D

Anyhow I 'm making a promise right now to update everyday, every other day at the latest.

So yeah, review and tell me what you think!


End file.
